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action — The Worst Assassins (lost world 2: the hangover)
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jackdawvision
2023-09-22 01:30 am (UTC)(link)
[It’s 8 PM. There’s a triceratops on the loose. Easy enough to deal with, Edward figures: they just have to follow these tracks flashing golden through the streets.]
It doesn’t seem that big, from these tracks. Should be easy enough to get it to heel and follow us back.
It doesn’t seem that big, from these tracks. Should be easy enough to get it to heel and follow us back.
[Sometime closer to the holidays, a package is delivered to Edward's residence. Inside is a brand new copy of Treasure Island with illustrations by Wyeth, carefully wrapped but still obviously a book. And also a six pack of... root beer.]
[There's a note.]
Merry Christmas
From your Secret Santa
[While Eve's penmanship has improved since starting school, there is still an wobbly quality to the writing that marks it as from a young hand.]
[There's a note.]
Merry Christmas
From your Secret Santa
[While Eve's penmanship has improved since starting school, there is still an wobbly quality to the writing that marks it as from a young hand.]
So I know you don't like a lot of modern stuff about pirates but I saw this and it's so wrong I think it's actually funny? I think it's from some kids' show or something.
Attached is an image she found somewhere on the internet. Where? Who knows, one does not question the sources of memes, but merely passes them on.
Attached is an image she found somewhere on the internet. Where? Who knows, one does not question the sources of memes, but merely passes them on.
All right. Here we go.
That little girl would not be on a ship in the first place. If you know of Mary Read, and I don’t doubt you do on account of her having a Wikipedia article, then you would know that she didn’t disguise herself as a man simply as a lark. Piracy’s a dangerous job for a lass.
Is this all the crew there is? They wouldn’t be able to steer a boat, let alone crew a whole ship. You need more men than three children who don’t even look thirteen, and that’s the youngest I’ve seen a pirate be.
Why is there a parrot? There shouldn’t be a parrot. I tried to smuggle one onboard while drunk one time and my quartermaster bade me to bring him back because we couldn’t feed the thing. Unless these children can partition some of their share for birdseed that parrot’s going to be in their bellies within two weeks.
And I cannot overstate this enough: we were robbing people of their private property on the high seas. I’ve killed men and rifled through their pockets for change. These children shouldn’t be pirates if they can’t stomach the work.
That little girl would not be on a ship in the first place. If you know of Mary Read, and I don’t doubt you do on account of her having a Wikipedia article, then you would know that she didn’t disguise herself as a man simply as a lark. Piracy’s a dangerous job for a lass.
Is this all the crew there is? They wouldn’t be able to steer a boat, let alone crew a whole ship. You need more men than three children who don’t even look thirteen, and that’s the youngest I’ve seen a pirate be.
Why is there a parrot? There shouldn’t be a parrot. I tried to smuggle one onboard while drunk one time and my quartermaster bade me to bring him back because we couldn’t feed the thing. Unless these children can partition some of their share for birdseed that parrot’s going to be in their bellies within two weeks.
And I cannot overstate this enough: we were robbing people of their private property on the high seas. I’ve killed men and rifled through their pockets for change. These children shouldn’t be pirates if they can’t stomach the work.
That said, it’s so wrong it made me laugh so.
Yeah like I said I think it's probably something from a kids show. If they can't even get the stealing part right of course the rest would be wrong too, right?
She might be laughing at that response though. Good thing this is text.
I thought it was funny too though.
She might be laughing at that response though. Good thing this is text.
I thought it was funny too though.
If this is what we’re telling children about pirates these days, no wonder so many people these days are such milksops. Where’s the teeth? Where’s the fear? Where’s the mad glint in the eye?
I think pretty much everything gets like that when it's been long enough. There was lots of war in the Sengoku era, but nowadays people make movies and games about those samurai and daimyo being big epic heroes. Same with ninja, or outlaws like Robin Hood, you know?
Though I bet the no stealing part is just so parents don't get mad.
Though I bet the no stealing part is just so parents don't get mad.
Well, you’re not wrong. It’s just harder to enjoy something when you lived through it and you know what they’ve gotten wrong.
If that’s enough to get most parents these days pissed, they’d have been furious back in the day. We used to hear ballads in public about Henry Every and his men and they had the habit of embellishing how much he stole.
If that’s enough to get most parents these days pissed, they’d have been furious back in the day. We used to hear ballads in public about Henry Every and his men and they had the habit of embellishing how much he stole.
Maybe just think of it as like a legend based on what happened? Not people actually trying to be realistic.
Henry Every? I don't think I heard of that one before...
Henry Every? I don't think I heard of that one before...
I’d be calmer about this if half of the stories being told weren’t about my friends. But you aren’t wrong—I don’t know anything about the show these children are in. It might be like your space pirate manga.
You might know him as Captain Avery. Or Jack Avery. Or John Avery. Pulled off one of the biggest scores you’d ever see.
You might know him as Captain Avery. Or Jack Avery. Or John Avery. Pulled off one of the biggest scores you’d ever see.
Edited (i have to keep my gifts straight) 2024-01-02 04:56 (UTC)
If all the characters are kids it probably doesn't have much to do with history. Like, oh, like Captain Hook!
Maybe I heard the name before but I don't think I know much about him.
She already knows so many figures of history and myth, please don't mind if she doesn't know all of them...
Maybe I heard the name before but I don't think I know much about him.
She already knows so many figures of history and myth, please don't mind if she doesn't know all of them...
That's the one whose enemy's a boy who never grows up, right? Daft man.
That's fine, seems like he ain't as famous as he used to be these days. Funny, when I was younger you couldn't escape hearing about him—he'd disappeared in, what, 1696, 97? Long before I took to sea myself, but everyone I knew had a theory where he went.
That's fine, seems like he ain't as famous as he used to be these days. Funny, when I was younger you couldn't escape hearing about him—he'd disappeared in, what, 1696, 97? Long before I took to sea myself, but everyone I knew had a theory where he went.
Peter Pan, yep! Though I bet the story made him silly on purpose.
Oh, that makes sense, though. Sometimes a person just gets more famous with time, but a lot of the time people know stuff that's more recent better. Or stuff that's in stories. Plus, where you are makes a difference, too. Pretty much everyone in Japan knows about the Shinsengumi from history, but I think a lot of people from elsewhere mostly know them from anime.
Oh, that makes sense, though. Sometimes a person just gets more famous with time, but a lot of the time people know stuff that's more recent better. Or stuff that's in stories. Plus, where you are makes a difference, too. Pretty much everyone in Japan knows about the Shinsengumi from history, but I think a lot of people from elsewhere mostly know them from anime.
[They've passed into the new year. A bit of time went by... and Diarmuid still couldn't settle on how he felt on having a certain relic "returned" to him.
He wasn't so stubborn as to avoid reaching out. He couldn't avoid this simple fact. This was not something he was emotionally equipped to have close at the moment. Thus did he contact someone he knew could keep things stowed away without it being seen.]
I need to ask a favor of you.
He wasn't so stubborn as to avoid reaching out. He couldn't avoid this simple fact. This was not something he was emotionally equipped to have close at the moment. Thus did he contact someone he knew could keep things stowed away without it being seen.]
I need to ask a favor of you.
If you need someone killed that'll cost you some, and a ride to Europe's not happening until I'm sure the sea ice won't rip up the Jackdaw.
[Smartassery aside:] Certainly, though. What is it?
[Smartassery aside:] Certainly, though. What is it?
Well, he is rather silly, if he's obsessing over some rascal instead of taking prizes.
I've never even heard of the Shinsengumi until right now, so fair point. Tell me about them and I'll tell you what I remember of Every, how does that sound?
I've never even heard of the Shinsengumi until right now, so fair point. Tell me about them and I'll tell you what I remember of Every, how does that sound?
Exactly!
Well, the Shinsengumi weren't around until after your time anyway, so you couldn't have heard of them before you came here. But sure! That sounds like fun.
Well, the Shinsengumi weren't around until after your time anyway, so you couldn't have heard of them before you came here. But sure! That sounds like fun.
[Okay, but that got a much needed chuckle out of him.]
Nothing so dire or strenuous on the Jackdaw.
Still, I would prefer to discuss it in person. It is a personal, selfish request. Could I meet you somewhere?
Nothing so dire or strenuous on the Jackdaw.
Still, I would prefer to discuss it in person. It is a personal, selfish request. Could I meet you somewhere?
Oh, good, the old girl needs a break after November.
Of course. Central Perk? We can watch those dolts make fools out of themselves while waiting for our drinks.
Of course. Central Perk? We can watch those dolts make fools out of themselves while waiting for our drinks.
Lots of things are after my time, lass, I've just come to accept it by now.
So who or what are they?
So who or what are they?
They were a group of samurai that formed during the Bakumatsu at the end of the Tokugawa shogunate. The Shinsengumi supported the shogun, but they were... kinda doing things their own way. They're pretty famous though because they got involved in a lot of fights and assassinations, as well as having internal conflicts between members.
Also, they wore really flashy uniforms.
Also, they wore really flashy uniforms.
Edited 2024-01-03 17:05 (UTC)
[Diarmuid had to stop and consider that given the sensitivity here... but heavens, the people in Central Perk were so caught in their own minds they wouldn't hear a word of his business.]
That sounds like a plan. I'll see you there.
[Indeed, it wasn't too long before Diarmuid made his way there. He would basically never leave without those sunglasses of his even in overcast skies but today he was particularly avoidant of catching attention.
There's a side glance at that same group that was here every day before he approached and sat by Edward with a smile.]
Well met, my friend. And Happy New Year, Athbhliain faoi Mhaise Duit. [Dropping modern Irish was a rare thing, but it was the New Year and it wasn't like he needed to hide behind his class.]
Thank you for meeting on such short notice.
That sounds like a plan. I'll see you there.
[Indeed, it wasn't too long before Diarmuid made his way there. He would basically never leave without those sunglasses of his even in overcast skies but today he was particularly avoidant of catching attention.
There's a side glance at that same group that was here every day before he approached and sat by Edward with a smile.]
Well met, my friend. And Happy New Year, Athbhliain faoi Mhaise Duit. [Dropping modern Irish was a rare thing, but it was the New Year and it wasn't like he needed to hide behind his class.]
Thank you for meeting on such short notice.
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