Fortune truly smiled upon me that fateful day. [And every time he was reminded of that the weight felt heavier on his heart. How close this Diarmuid came and what manner of cruelty did the other Diarmuid face?]
You have the right of it. As for how Waver came to be the one who summoned me, I'm not sure. He must have acquired the relic on his own somehow.
[It was never Diarmuid's place to ask, all he knew now were things he glimpsed from the Library in September.
Ambition was not a poor trait to have. It was, like many things, a double edged sword. One could use their ambition for the betterment of themselves or those around them or one could use it to trample all over someone and leave the companions they made in the dust. It was a matter of loyalty that separated the two.
He took a breath, deciding it was about the time to fully explain himself.]
... The potential danger isn't the entire truth of why I ask this favor of you. [Only a small portion in fact.]
[He's been on both sides of the line, when it comes to ambition. He—hopes he's better than that man under whose power Diarmuid almost fell under. Thinks so, anyway. He'd never use a man, a friend that way, at least not knowingly.
And...well. Okay then. Danger is one thing, but there's clearly something else going on here, because truthfully, with Diarmuid bound to Waver, he's already spoken for. Can't summon him again. Hell, this relic would be safer with Waver instead of Edward, so something is up here.]
All right. Why else would you ask such a favor of an old pirate like me?
[There was no greater enemy, none more fierce for the brave and handsome Diarmuid ua Duibhne to face... than his own troubled heart.
There wasn't a delicate way around this, and there was little point in dancing past it either way. There was a long pause as he took the time to remove the sunglasses he wore, folding them and setting them on the table. No sense in hiding behind them.]
A demonic boar tusk. The very relic that brought me into this era as a Heroic Spirit is the one that ended my life as a human. Which ultimately caused the end of the Fianna.
[His own half-brother killed him, his death led to the infighting amongst his band of knights resulting in its eventual collapse. All these things he could only blame himself for. Despite the fact that it could have been avoided if his lord...
... no.
A hand rested over the sunglasses.]
Waver kept these as well as the relic after the conclusion of the war I was summoned into... they were all that was left. [Which said all it needed to. He died in that war too.]
He gave it to me this Christmas, telling me that it is my right to decide the fate that ultimately comes of this relic. [Which perhaps was not wrong, given who it was. There's another long pause and a light shake of his head.]
But I... I am not ready to choose its fate. [At the edge of his tone there was a tremble he wouldn't let free. Whether in sorrow or rage or something else not even Diarmuid could say.] And until such a time that I am, I need to be separated from it for a while. That is why I make this selfish request of you.
Jesus, that's a little macabre. [This is coming from the pirate who's grown used to seeing hanging bodies. The relic feels even heavier now in his pouch. Christ, this is going in the Jackdaw, and frankly he thinks it ought to be tossed into the sea, but he's not about to do that without Diarmuid's permission.
He scratches at his cheek, over the stubble.]
Oh. [Well. Fuck.
How many times can a man die over the centuries, Edward wonders, before that does something to him. Before it breaks his spirit. Even Heroic Spirits have a breaking point, Edward's seen Diarmuid snap once before.]
I'll keep it safe and sound somewhere that's secure, [aka his cabin on the Jackdaw,] until you're ready to decide what to do with it. You've my word on that, for what that's worth.
[Diarmuid wouldn't even blame him for casting it into the sea, nor for refusing a request so ridiculous. Indeed, at their hearts Servants too had hearts of humans. Everyone would reach their breaking point eventually.
Diarmuid went out on his own terms the latter two times at least. Though the gravity of those last two times, the consequences that he left Waver in, are things he's coming to add to his endless list of regrets.
He let out a breath he didn't know he held back and with it came a smile that while relieved reflected great pain as well. A heavy weight was lifted but when you live every waking moment carrying it the lightness, the rawness, is exposed to the elements.]
And I trust your word. Thank you for accepting this personal favor of mine. It means more to me than I can express with words.
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You have the right of it. As for how Waver came to be the one who summoned me, I'm not sure. He must have acquired the relic on his own somehow.
[It was never Diarmuid's place to ask, all he knew now were things he glimpsed from the Library in September.
Ambition was not a poor trait to have. It was, like many things, a double edged sword. One could use their ambition for the betterment of themselves or those around them or one could use it to trample all over someone and leave the companions they made in the dust. It was a matter of loyalty that separated the two.
He took a breath, deciding it was about the time to fully explain himself.]
... The potential danger isn't the entire truth of why I ask this favor of you. [Only a small portion in fact.]
no subject
And...well. Okay then. Danger is one thing, but there's clearly something else going on here, because truthfully, with Diarmuid bound to Waver, he's already spoken for. Can't summon him again. Hell, this relic would be safer with Waver instead of Edward, so something is up here.]
All right. Why else would you ask such a favor of an old pirate like me?
no subject
[There was no greater enemy, none more fierce for the brave and handsome Diarmuid ua Duibhne to face... than his own troubled heart.
There wasn't a delicate way around this, and there was little point in dancing past it either way. There was a long pause as he took the time to remove the sunglasses he wore, folding them and setting them on the table. No sense in hiding behind them.]
A demonic boar tusk. The very relic that brought me into this era as a Heroic Spirit is the one that ended my life as a human. Which ultimately caused the end of the Fianna.
[His own half-brother killed him, his death led to the infighting amongst his band of knights resulting in its eventual collapse. All these things he could only blame himself for. Despite the fact that it could have been avoided if his lord...
... no.
A hand rested over the sunglasses.]
Waver kept these as well as the relic after the conclusion of the war I was summoned into... they were all that was left. [Which said all it needed to. He died in that war too.]
He gave it to me this Christmas, telling me that it is my right to decide the fate that ultimately comes of this relic. [Which perhaps was not wrong, given who it was. There's another long pause and a light shake of his head.]
But I... I am not ready to choose its fate. [At the edge of his tone there was a tremble he wouldn't let free. Whether in sorrow or rage or something else not even Diarmuid could say.] And until such a time that I am, I need to be separated from it for a while. That is why I make this selfish request of you.
no subject
He scratches at his cheek, over the stubble.]
Oh. [Well. Fuck.
How many times can a man die over the centuries, Edward wonders, before that does something to him. Before it breaks his spirit. Even Heroic Spirits have a breaking point, Edward's seen Diarmuid snap once before.]
I'll keep it safe and sound somewhere that's secure, [aka his cabin on the Jackdaw,] until you're ready to decide what to do with it. You've my word on that, for what that's worth.
no subject
Diarmuid went out on his own terms the latter two times at least. Though the gravity of those last two times, the consequences that he left Waver in, are things he's coming to add to his endless list of regrets.
He let out a breath he didn't know he held back and with it came a smile that while relieved reflected great pain as well. A heavy weight was lifted but when you live every waking moment carrying it the lightness, the rawness, is exposed to the elements.]
And I trust your word. Thank you for accepting this personal favor of mine. It means more to me than I can express with words.